Jeremy Can’t Help Dissolving People

Card 1

Perched on a small branch, the raven frantically picked at a small button on the ground but couldn’t budge it. As he tugged on the stubborn button, the surrounding ground shifted slightly and a small white arm slowly pushed some of the dirt aside. Finally, the button moved as the bird gave one last tug and a grinning white voodoo doll head emerged.

“Hi! I’m Jeremy! Would you be my friend?” the doll said.

Startled, the raven tried to fly away but his bill was stuck to the button and he couldn’t move his head. In a flash, tendrils came out of Jeremy’s arm and wrapped themselves around the bird. As more tendrils buried into the bird, the bird stopped moving while its body turned to pulp. Afterwards, all that was left was a pile of mush and some feathers and bones.

“Well, that was surprising.”

Pushing dirt aside, Jeremy crawled out in search of someone else to play with. All the animals in the woods scurried away from this weird doll that was walking around and talking to himself. But, eventually, Jeremy came to a clearing where a large group of deer where eating. At first, they tried to run away but something stopped them. Although skittish, they seemed to suddenly become curious about this small doll that walked into their pasture.

“Hi! I’m Jeremy! Would you like to be my friend?”

One small deer cautiously approached Jeremy and gently sniffed him. The deer poked at him a couple of times while Jeremy slowly caressed the deer’s head. Jeremy started giggling when the deer’s nose tickled his chest.

Again, the tendrils came out of the arms and wrapped themselves around the deer. The deer tried to take off but it was too late. Collapsing on the ground, the tendrils buried themselves into the animal and, like the bird, the deer was soon a pile of pulp, bones and skin.

“Hmmmm… Well, that was unfortunate. Wonder why this keeps happening to me? This isn’t good.”

Jeremy wandered along and, over time, he tried to make more friends but, every time he laughed, an animal dissolved. He tried to control himself but, being a naturally happy little creature, it was hard.

Eventually, the woods gained a reputation of being haunted. One day, a group of adventurers decided they had to take care of the “Terror of the Woods”. In the middle of the dark forest, they encountered Jeremy and, although he was a strange creature, he seemed friendly enough. Like the skittish deer, they didn’t feel any fear when they were around him. Obviously he couldn’t be the source of the terror.

Having found nothing, they made camp and continue the next day. That night, the three adventurers relax, took off their armor and made camp. Jeremy joined them and they had a great time talking and laughing. At first, Jeremy was a little worried about being so happy and tried to keep his distance. It worked fine until one fighter, drunk, thought that Jeremy was too cute and started tickling him. Like before, the fighter’s hand stuck to Jeremy, and the tendrils came out. The fighter screamed as the tendrils wrap around his head and burrowed into his face. The other adventurers jumped up and attacked Jeremy with their swords but nothing happened. Jeremy was totally unaffected by the weapons. Seeing their friend dissolve into a pile of mush and not being able to do anything, they ran away as fast as they could.

“Okay… It’s definitely me!”

Card 2

Months went by and no one came to the woods anymore. Jeremy was getting pretty lonely.

One day, when he ventured near the edge of the woods, he heard voices in the distance. He peered out from behind a tree and saw a group of people laughing and having fun.

“I wonder if they will be my friend?”

Jeremy wanted to go to them but he knew his appearance would frighten them. He’d remembered the adventurers who were initially afraid of him. He’d gotten bigger and stronger and knew that he wouldn’t have a chance to approach these people.

Heading back to his home, Jeremy put on the old armor from the adventurers. Peering into the still pond near his house, he felt he looked similar to the other people. Now was his chance.

Stepping out of the tree, Jeremy slowly walked to the group. They all stopped talking and just stared as he approached.

“Hi! I’m Jeremy! Would you like to be my friend?”

As with the adventurers, the group felt comfortable around Jeremy and said, “Uuuuhhh… Sure.” The group seemed to ignore the weird white face underneath the helmet and the strange gawky arms and legs shown underneath the armor. The more they hung around Jeremy, the more comfortable they became.

So, Jeremy joined them for their picnic. They were laughing and having a good-time when one girl wanted Jeremy to dance with her.

“Uh… no.. Sorry… I can’t,” Jeremy said backing up. He knew what was going to happen.

She kept getting closer. “Come! Dance with me! It’s fun! I’ll teach you how! Don’t be shy.”

She kept getting closer and closer. Jeremy stumbled back as she grabbed his hand. The touch of her hand changed something in him. There was a softness and a tingling sensation he had never felt before. He became happier and happier and couldn’t help himself.

Suddenly, the tendrils came out of his free hand. She screamed and tried to release his hand but couldn’t. The tendrils covered the girl and buried themselves into her body. The others screamed and ran away as the girl collapsed.

Jeremy looked at the dissolved girl, and for the first time, felt genuine remorse.

“I’m never going to have a friend. I can’t control myself. There’s got to be a way to solve this. I need a friend.”

Card 3

Over the years, Jeremy was getting lonelier and lonelier. No one came near the woods and the animals stopped foraging in his area. The silence was deafening.

One day, purely by accident, a thought came to him. A tree is considered “alive”. I wonder what would happen to a tree? He thought of the first time the pretty girl touched his hand and how happy he was. Within that memory, the happiness briefly returned, and he shoved his hand against a tree.

The tendrils came out and absorbed the tree. He saw that the tree didn’t dissolve. It was as if nothing happened to it. Jeremy, though, felt different. More spikes appeared on his back and a calmness washed over his mind. It wasn’t that he was sad. It was more of the feeling that he was calm. More importantly, no matter what he thought about, he never felt giddy or extremely happy.

After more tests, Jeremy noticed that the feeling would last a couple of days before he felt like he could be happy again. This could be it, he thought.

Since there was no-one near the forest again, he decided he had to test out this new idea by going to the nearby town. After absorbing the largest tree he could find, Jeremy headed out of the forest and towards town.