This past weekend, I was quite disappointed in myself. As usual, I was doing some research and decided to contact some of my elemental friends to help me. Now, in the past, I could normally just go their homes and start talking to them. However, this time, I wanted to try something different. I decided that, since I knew that they went to the Sakarum Market every morning, I would go there and find them.
Well, they weren't there. Matter of fact, it was quieter than normal and, when I tried to ask the other merchants about the event, everybody kind of shunned me. I found out later that it was a special day for many of the elementals and they had all stayed home.
The part that disappointed me was not the fact that there were no elementals at the Sakarum. It was the fact that I was so sure that I would succeed that I didn't even consider failure. It was that reaction to the failure that disappointed me. I started questioning whether I should even be a wizard or why was I even doing my research? Why did I care about bridging the gap between me and the world around me? Why did I care about helping the Artifact learn about the world? I just wanted to be left alone and study.
After a while, I realized that I had gotten so used to success that I was comfortable. I wasn't pushing myself to fail. I was not growing. That is a problem with all successes. So, that means that it's time to go back to the beginning and pick up the Oracle Deck. I need to expand my world of elementals so that I'm learning new things and failing more. It's time for growth.